As you can clearly see, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this. Yesterday's post was sort of a half formed thought, and today's kind of veers off subject. I think this is part of the bigger issue I'm attempting to sort out which is really, our culture's take on breasts.
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To continue...
It must be nigh impossible for men to deal with this disease. I can't imagine a man finding something and going to his doctor like I did, complaining about his nipple looking funny. What kind of resources are available to men fighting this disease? I'm assuming there are groups offering help and survivors willing to talk with those facing their cancer, but nothing like the web of support available to women. It's a broad sweeping generalization to say that women are more nurturing, yada, yada, yada. I think there are other plausible reasons why support is so prevalent. 
First, Breast cancer is extremely common for women and so there are a lot of survivors who want to pay it forward. Second, it's a crap shoot - I have it today, you might have it tomorrow. It strikes whoever/whenever/however. I think there's a little 'but for the grace of g-d...' going on. And third boobs are so closely associated with sex, specifically women's sexuality, that the whole topic makes men (and some women) uncomfortable. This harks back to my I (heart) Boobies post. It's cute and funny to say feel your boobies, but where are the 'Feel your balls' bracelets for testicular cancer awareness? 
Sometimes it's ok to make light of a situation to dissipate discomfort. It's much more pleasant to laugh with instead of at something. And lord knows I am the queen of irreverence and candor when it comes to me and my cancer. My mama taught me, "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and your mascara runs." But it's hard for men to laugh with us, not very many of them have a dog in this fight. (Or if you want me to go with the cheap pun, 'puppies in this fight'.) And so the 'Save the Ta-tas' support rings hollow. How would they feel if I went to Cafe Press right now and designed a "Save the Testes" shirt? And again, I digress, as this is not an either/or, he/she argument. I recently spoke with someone whose uncle had breast cancer. The story she told saddened me and I even found myself feeling some shame about how men have so much more to face when they get this disease. It's easy to fight when EVERYONE is on your side. It takes much more bravery, wherewithal, and grace when marginalized.
Hi Angel,
ReplyDeleteGreat seeing you yesterday at DLM. Thanks for taking to heart what men have to go through when they face breast cancer and bringing it to light to your readers. I just saw my uncle tonight and he is back to his usual self, someone meeting him today would not even know he had been ridding himself of cancer for 10 months this past year.