23 August 2011

A small introduction.

When Dan and I met with Dr. Boob, we had our usual vaudeville act going. (He's the straight man.) As the doc was describing the mastectomy procedure, she drew what the incision would look like (direction and size on the boob she had drawn on the page,) and arrows for taking out the breast tissue and then a line for where the scar would be and she drew two drains. Drains are the tubes they put in after major surgery to ensure that fluid doesn't accumulate at the surgery site. (Enough about that, I'm sure I'll have MUCH more to say about it after my surgery.)
She explained that Dr. S_____ likes to put in two drains, to which Dan replied, "Well, that's why they call him Two-Drain S_____."

Ever since then, we've referred to my reconstrution surgeon as "Two-Drain."

I'm furiously reading about breast reconstruction methods. I do have a couple of good books coming, but I've been reading blogs and websites and I've come to two conclusions. First, there is no good information on-line, since most information sites about specific methods that I've come across are either sponsored by some drug company promoting their method/product. Or it's a plastic surgeons' website that is promoting the method they've decided to specialize in. And second, it wouldn't really matter since every case is different and so what worked for someone else in my exact situation, (double mast, dcis/invasive, etc.) may still be the wrong decision for me.


Sunday's conversation with Kim, my sister:
K: Whatcha doing?
Me: Reading about breast reconstruction. My new hobby.
K: Your new hobby is breast reconstruction?
Me: Nope, my new hobby is reading about it.
(Ba-dum-bump!)

=====

So today I met with Two-Drain. I have VERY mixed feelings about him. He did a very quick analysis of my situation and came to pretty set conclusions, without consulting with me at all. He sounds like he really knows what he's doing, but I found him to be extremely patronizing.


He is recommending expanders and implants, (of his choosing.) When I asked what size, he assured me they could be as large as I wanted. When I mentioned I'd like to be significantly smaller than I am now he discouraged it, telling me that I would not be happy being smaller because it wouldn't look right. You know, I have a pretty small frame when I'm not 30 pounds overweight and I'm thinking 4 - 6 months of chemo is probably going to slim me down a little. I've always had big boobs, along with the leers, backaches and painful bouncing exercise creates. When I am slim, I am a 32 d or dd. How can that be 'right' for my frame? Unless, of course, one values big boobs.

But where I am now in my life is not there. Getting another pair to match the ones I have seems both vain, and oddly enough inauthentic. I went into this consultation not sure if I even wanted reconstruction beyond a wound closure with healthy functioning chest muscles. He didn't even let me entertain that idea, dismissing me with a "I've never done that before, why would you do that, you don't want to do that."
I'm feeling a little put off.


So in addition to him being the expert of what I need physically, Two-Drain also seems to think he knows what I need emotionally.

Dan, on the other hand, had a great rapport with the guy and was happy with what he had to say. Do you see where this is going?


I came out of today's appointment feeling manipulated and for the first time in a week, as though I was no longer in charge of what's going on with my body. I think I need a second opinion.