20 August 2011

The good things about my nodule. (How to be positive about Cancer.)

When Dan and I were sitting in the breast surgeons office waiting for her to come in, we talked a little. I lamented that I hadn't seen the doctor sooner. The change in boob left had been apparent for a pretty long time. Maybe a year? Maybe more? But I had mammograms and they came back normal and so I didn't worry about it. He said that he had noticed it within the last 6 months and scolded himself for not pushing me to go to the doctor about it. We were pretty bummed about the prospect that it had been growing for some time.

When Dr. Boob came in, we told her the whole sad story, plus guilt. I mentioned that I should have pushed my doctor to prescribe an ultrasound, instead of just a mammogram and she put our minds at ease that there was no doctor in the world who would have done that without more cause than just, "Nice rack." The mammogram is the first line of defense and unless there is some other kind of symptom, I wouldn't have been able to get an ultrasound.On my mammogram from last week with the titanium marker, the mass is still virtually invisible. It's only slightly better on the ultrasound. If I hadn't been able to pinpoint the problem for them, they likely would not have found it.

The geographical location of the mass is another positive thing. What tipped me off was that my nipple looked funny. It had retracted on one side, which made it all askew. (See Marty Feldman reference.) If I didn't have that adhesion action going so close to the surface I NEVER would have found it. Also, just in case I had any vanity driven illusions about a lumpectomy, the fact that the culprit is so close to the nipple indicates that the bulls eye has to go. And heck, if that's the case, you may as well take it all and I won't have to worry so much about a recurrence. (You know, the thing that killed my mom.) And I am leaning towards a bi-lateral, so whatever I decide to do, (reconstruction or no,) I will have a matched set.

My cancer is estrogen and progesterone receptor positive. That means it responds well to hormone therapy, which is the least toxic to other parts of me. We are still waiting on the HER2/neu status from the biopsy. If it's positive, we have another tool to fight it, (although it also means it's aggressive, so we'll be having to manage a greater recurrence risk.)

My nodule is small, 1.5 x 1 cm. Which based on my anecdotal history (maybe a year since I noticed something??) means it's slow growing. And that means it may not have had the chance to be mature or aggressive enough to metastasize.

And lastly, Thursday evening I attended the open house for Harman Elementary. For the first time in forever I was able to walk from sign-up sheet to sign-up sheet with no guilt what-so-ever. I've cleared my schedule and calendar and I feel great about it. No one is going to call me to volunteer for ANYTHING this year. I am giddy with freedom.