29 October 2011

Hair (not the musical)

When the girls found out I'd have to have chemo, they started crying because they didn't want me to lose my hair.  They were worried how I'd look and thought that people would be mean to me (read: them,) if I was bald.  So when I asked them if they wanted to shave my head, all of a sudden my being bald had a lot more appeal.  I made the appointment for 8 days after my first chemo, having been told that my hair would start falling out 7 - 10 days after my treatment.

People have asked if my hair had started to fall out and no, it hadn't.  But I wasn't about to wait around for it to do so.  I have to be a little more proactive than that.

On Wednesday, I picked up the girls after school and we drove over to the Greene, where my hairdresser has recently relocated.  She has a room in a co-op salon out there and has been doing my hair and the kids hair for about 5 years.  The girls are very comfortable with her as am I and so that's where we shaved my head.

The deal was Emily, my hairdresser, would shave a strip down the middle of my head and then the girls would each take turns and get to shave one whole side.  Emily put the shortest guard she had, 1/16 inch, on the clippers and made the borderline, showing the girls how to hold the clippers flat against my head and push them through the hair, pausing to shake off the excess.  They decided who was going to do which side.  Because if all of the details are not negotiated before we begin any endeavor where they are both involved, fights and tears ensue.  They are never a united front - they have not yet realized that there is strength in numbers.  I was nervous, but with the guard on there was very little chance of either of the kids injuring me.  Especially with Emily supervising.


Who wants to go first??  Naomi screamed "ME!"  True to each of their personalities, Naomi just wanted to jump in with both feet, and Miriam wanted to observe a little before she committed.  Naomi began confidently in the back and then moved to the side, did some in the front and then back to the back again.  She got a little frisky around the ears. Luckily, Emily was there to help out folding it down out of the way so she wouldn't nick me.  She was fascinated by it, spending a little time just holding the clippers to feel them vibrating in her hand.  "They tickle!" she shrieked.  And she asked me if it tickled on my head.  It did not.  She was very proud of herself when she was finished with her side.  If you know Naomi, then you can imagine what her response was - having done it once, she's obviously qualified to be a hairdresser now.

So then it was Miriam's turn and she approached it much more methodically, following along the lines and being more thoughtful, and somewhat less skilled than her capricious sister.  It was a stark illustration of their personalities.  It took more time for Miriam to do her side.  She was concerned about whether she was hurting me and paused for guidance from Emily, as well as help around my ear.  She was less enthusiastic about it than Naomi, and quite sober.  I'm not sure if it's because she went second and so when she was done I was essentially bald, or if the meaning of the whole experience was weighing on her.

After the girls were finished, Emily cleaned up any spots that needed attention, gave both Miriam and Naomi a trim and having let the clippers cool down while she was doing the kids, went back over again without the guard.  I'm so glad I thought to include the kids in this stepping stone, because having done it themselves, it has given them a sense of control over the situation.  I'm no longer bald because of chemotherapy.  I'm bald because they got to shave mom's head.  In the whole history of time, how many kids can say that?  "What did you do yesterday?"  "Oh, I shaved my Mom's head."   How cool is THAT?

And there you have it.