22 April
They are not what they're cracked up to be
So it's time to back up and see
My foobs still need worky
Asymmetrical and quirky
The left one's all jacked up to me!
15 April
After each sunset, a dawn
As my symptoms pass, bring it on
This morning I see
I don't look like me
I noticed my eyebrows have gone
8 April
The cancer I've come to resent
My new 'foobie' scar has a dent
They look and feel funny,
Thrill not, me or honey
And now I'm emotionally spent
25 March
Another fine Sunday is here
And I haven't a limerick to cheer
I'll ponder some words
And watch some spring birds
And the limerick will "POOF!" just appear
18 March
This week I decided "No more!"
Responding has become a chore
Dump it not in my lap,
To yourself keep your crap
Your bullshit is such a huge bore
4 March
Like Samson, now that I've grown hair
I'm actually feeling quite fair
No longer so dour
I feel I have power
"I'm back, bitches!" I do declare.
26 February
My scenery changed, thus the mode
The blogger app takes long to load
I had stuff to say
Almost every day
But I don't like to post from the road.
20 February
Our resolve to come yearly is steely
Your curiosity we answer freely
The question to peg us,
Your Mom lives in Vegas?
We have to reply, "No, not really!"
12 February
At first I was all full of fight
My blog was both funny and light
As my illness wears on
And my spunk is all gone
It's hard to be clever and write
5 February
I know this is not a chat room
And I hope this doesn't spell doom
This week I made clear
Where I stand: it's right here
Keep your morals out of my womb
29 January
Six weeks out and my head is still bare
And although I think I look fair
I looked up on top
Where I once had a mop
And noticed I'm now growing hair
23 January
I frequently have the hot flashin'
I'm lucky I'm so unabashin'
I whip off the lid,
My bare head like a squid
Even 'though it appears out of fashion
16 January
You know what I really don't like?
The days when I walk or I hike,
My posts become sparse
Because moving my arse
Makes me crash, both body and psych
8 January
Although the poison was scary
My head is still sporting some hairy
And while chemo was dire
I have a spare tire
I gained weight which is quite contrary
1 January
What can I say of this year
Aside from it sucked, that is clear
Next year I want health
And happiness and wealth,
Same to you, and those you hold dear.
20 December
Yes, chemo is kicking my ass
(Which they didn't go over in class)
But today's the last one
I'm officially done
And it's now a thing of the past
11 December
I'm on some new meds to help cope
But it doesn't give me much hope
The funk over-takes me
The junk over-bakes me
I wish I was taking less dope
4 December
My days after chemo are dark
Its bite is much worse than its bark
I know this is crass
But it's kicking my ass
While it's shifting my cancer to 'park'
27 November
We know that Thanksgiving comes yearly
To reflect on our blessings so dearly
But this year my wife
Had a threat to her life
Now we see our blessings more clearly
20 November
First things get fuzzy and hazy
And then I think everyone's lazy
Irritated and witchy,
I'd even say bitchy
The chemo makes me freakin' CRAZY
13 November
Although it's a part of the plan
Of chemo, I'm not a big fan
It makes me a bitch
And here's a big switch
I pee like an elderly man
6 November
I did not anticipate trouble
In fact, I thought it'd be subtle
But shaving my head
Is no good for my bed
All over my pillow is stubble
30 October
I wanted a costume with me-ness
Perhaps a strong goddess like Venus?
It's just unfortunate
That I have to admit
My head makes me look like a penis
23 October
From surgery, it's been five weeks
I've had lots of valleys, few peaks
I'm healing so slowly
My spirits are lowly
Some exercise is what I seeks
16 October
When looking for something to wear
A flat chest was too much to bear
I'm replacing my boobs
With saline-filled foobs
I'm officially growing a pair
9 October
After the knife and the drains,
I wonder if cancer remains
So just to make sure,
I'll have to endure
A mixture of drugs through my veins
2 October
After years of having big tits,
They are now just tiny small bits
If I don't wash my face
I'll be in a race
What's bigger, my boobs or my zits?
25 September
Pathology, more to be done
On both of the tumors, not one
On to phase two,
Oncologist, that's you
Go find me a hat that is fun
18 September
Mastectomies at the behest
Of the surgeon I thought was the best
I have to admit
It sure feels great to git
That awful big weight off my chest
11 September
About to go under the knife
A mother, a sister and wife
To the ta-tas, ta-ta
I doubt I'll miss 'ya
When faced with no boobs or no life
4 September
There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who said to her cancer 'Go suck it!'
You picked the wrong tit
Ima fight you like shit
'Cuz I will not be kicking the bucket.
28 August
At first I was really scared
But now there's good news to share
With two drainage tubes
I'll get rid of my boobs
And I don't really care about hair
21 August 2011
I'm thinking of future and past
Assembling my team and my cast
Looking for answers
About my damn cancers
But no information comes fast.
