29 February 2012

I Get Treated Differently, and it's a Good Thing

I have been basking in the glow of nice-ness for the past 6 months. In a general environment of intolerance, self-righteousness, one-upmanship and anger that has poisoned our communities and divided our country, having cancer is actually a breath of fresh air. I have been the recipient of much goodwill, acceptance and kindness.

What is it about someone with cancer (or other hardships) that bring out the best in people? I get waved ahead in lines, (well, not at the post office, but that's the ninth circle of hell,) people offer to carry stuff for me, they come by for visits and drop off meals and treats, they forgive me my intellectual shortcomings, drive my kids places, and they just plain treat me better than they treat others. This altruistic spirit has somewhat buoyed my outlook. With all the venom that gets slung around this country, it is gratifying to see proof that Americans are still capable of kindness and decency. I'm thankful for this experience for my kids to see what was for taken for granted in generations past - compassionate caring.

Is there a finite amount of kindness in the world, and if not, why don't people practice it with everyone, not just us sickies?  Maybe people just don't have the energy for what used to be known as common courtesy.  Here we are with so much technology to make our lives easier and we don't have the resources and energy to be our best selves.  We don't have the decency and common courtesy of our great-grandparents who worked six days a week, did laundry with a hand cranked washer, made meals totally from scratch etc.  As society has relaxed attitudes, we seem to have forgotten that we are essentially the same as our fore-fathers and mothers in our desire for pleasantness and acceptance.  And this is universal.  I'm glad that at least the safety net of community has not deteriorated for sick folks like me but I wish it extended beyond us.      

So now that my hair is growing in, I pass on to another stepping stone. People will quit being nice to me. I'm thinking of keeping the head shaved just to continue capitalizing on it.