Looking Forward to Chemo?
Fall is upon us in earnest and the colder weather brings challenges for me. I know I complained about the nerve/skin problem being yucky when I sweated, but having now experienced it when I am cold, I've gotta say the sweating was better! Having goose bumps magnifies the pain. I've been huddling in bed with my awesome Land's End Heated Mattress Pad (with dual control,) which the cats have discovered that they love. I had Dan turn on the heat today. Our Southern California guest is happy about that.
I'm on day three of the new regime, (ace bandages and more rest,) and I can say that it's working wonders for the drains. My output is now entirely acceptable. When I get the drains out tomorrow I need to ask the right questions about what to expect post-drains. How long will it take for me to heal to the point where I can be without the ace bandages? If I take them off now, will I have fluid buildup? (I assume yes since the compression seems to be having the most affect on my drainage.) Once my skin has adhered to the new muscle surface, do I run the risk of separating it if I get back in the gym and work out hard? And what if I do? What will happen?
I'm eager to take my How-To-Have-Chemo class on Tuesday. I've done a little reading on it, and of course, the blogs, the blogs... As I found out with the drain situation, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I am not at all worried about the hair but I saw some awful pictures showing what it can do to finger and toe nails and that scares me! My nails are already super soft. I can't imagine having them compromised further. I don't know why I didn't make the connection earlier - keratin is keratin and all will be affected. The kids cried when they heard I'd be having chemo because they think I'll look weird without hair. And then I told them that they can shave my head when the time comes so now they are ok with it. In fact, I'd say they are downright looking forward to it.
In a sense I'm looking forward to it too, because up to now I've looked so good that I feel a little guilty for sitting around on my ass all day having folks do for me. Granted, while I was feeling fabulous until the surgery, I'm actually starting to feel not so fabulous now. My energy level continues to diminish as I sit around. Getting no exercise is making me stiff and sore. I'm not sleeping well. Resting in the daytime is messing up my sleep schedule, and when I do sleep it's only for fits and bursts because I get uncomfortable. The nerve discomfort has moved into the realm of pain with the increase of compression on my surgery site. I'm popping ibuprofen religiously. And the boredom makes me cranky. It's much easier to take that from someone who looks like they are fighting cancer, wouldn't you say? When I lose my hair, my transition from typical person to typical person with cancer will be complete. By all accounts, chemo should be the valley of my journey and then I can look forward to feeling better and better. As with all things in my life, once I know where I'm going, I'm itching to get started and get it over with.
I'm on day three of the new regime, (ace bandages and more rest,) and I can say that it's working wonders for the drains. My output is now entirely acceptable. When I get the drains out tomorrow I need to ask the right questions about what to expect post-drains. How long will it take for me to heal to the point where I can be without the ace bandages? If I take them off now, will I have fluid buildup? (I assume yes since the compression seems to be having the most affect on my drainage.) Once my skin has adhered to the new muscle surface, do I run the risk of separating it if I get back in the gym and work out hard? And what if I do? What will happen?
I'm eager to take my How-To-Have-Chemo class on Tuesday. I've done a little reading on it, and of course, the blogs, the blogs... As I found out with the drain situation, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I am not at all worried about the hair but I saw some awful pictures showing what it can do to finger and toe nails and that scares me! My nails are already super soft. I can't imagine having them compromised further. I don't know why I didn't make the connection earlier - keratin is keratin and all will be affected. The kids cried when they heard I'd be having chemo because they think I'll look weird without hair. And then I told them that they can shave my head when the time comes so now they are ok with it. In fact, I'd say they are downright looking forward to it. 
In a sense I'm looking forward to it too, because up to now I've looked so good that I feel a little guilty for sitting around on my ass all day having folks do for me. Granted, while I was feeling fabulous until the surgery, I'm actually starting to feel not so fabulous now. My energy level continues to diminish as I sit around. Getting no exercise is making me stiff and sore. I'm not sleeping well. Resting in the daytime is messing up my sleep schedule, and when I do sleep it's only for fits and bursts because I get uncomfortable. The nerve discomfort has moved into the realm of pain with the increase of compression on my surgery site. I'm popping ibuprofen religiously. And the boredom makes me cranky. It's much easier to take that from someone who looks like they are fighting cancer, wouldn't you say? When I lose my hair, my transition from typical person to typical person with cancer will be complete. By all accounts, chemo should be the valley of my journey and then I can look forward to feeling better and better. As with all things in my life, once I know where I'm going, I'm itching to get started and get it over with. 
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